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New Season of Grand Designs to Consist Solely of Kevin McCloud Berating Rich White Couples

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The seventeenth season of popular homebuilding show Grand Designs is to consist solely of Kevin McCloud berating rich white couples.

Unlike previous seasons, there will be no footage of actual houses or their construction, with McCloud and the network opting for a more stripped-back viewing experience.

Instead, white couples will simply take turns to sit in front of McCloud, in the hopes that he will validate their upper-upper-middle class lifestyles as “bespoke”.

“We sat down and thought about what viewers really enjoy  – and what they love is when I grumble at impossible budgets and timelines,  and when come back after they’ve paid five times what they wanted to spend and construction ran three years over time and I say ‘I told you so’ to the camera,” says McCloud.

McCloud will extend his berating beyond just houses, with the 57-year old set to comment on their brands of coffee machines, the schools they are sending their children to, and even their potpourri.

The first episode of the new season, The Ceramicist’s Crooked Quinoa, is set to premiere later this year.

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